Lazyboy

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Man Woman (Yin & Yang)

Lazyboy none none none Man, women, boy,...

Man Woman (Yin & Yang)

Lazyboy none none none Man, women, boy,...

It’s All About Love

Lazyboy none none none It’s all about...

The Manual (Chapter 4)

Lazyboy none none none The warmest welcome...

We Only Read The Headlines

Lazyboy none none none You can cut...

Desiderata

Lazyboy none none none You are a...

Man Woman (Yin & Yang)

Lazyboy none none none Man, women, boy,...

Underwear Goes Inside The Pants

Lazyboy none none none Why is marijuana...

This Is The Truth

Lazyboy none none none One life, one...

Inhale Positivity

Lazyboy none none none Inhale positivity, exhale...

Facts Of Life

Lazyboy none none none These are the...

Are You Qualified?

Lazyboy none none none Do you consider...

Underwear Goes Inside The Pants

Lazyboy none none none Why is marijuana...

Man Woman (Yin & Yang)

Man, women, boy, women, girl, girl, man, boy
Women, man, women, girl, boy, boy, man, man
Women, girl, boy, boy, man, women, girl, man
Girl, boy, girl, girl, boy, man, women, boy
Women, without her man is nothing
Women without her, man is nothing
Women have their faults, men have only two
Everything they say and everything they do
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared
For marriage they’ve experienced pain
And ‘ve bought jewelry
Women have two weapons, cosmetics and tears
I’m a perfect house keeper
Every time I leave a man I keep his house
No women has ever hated a man
Enough to give him back his diamonds
Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
They don’t have time
Man, women, boy, women, girl, girl, man, boy
Women, man, women, girl, boy, boy, man, man
Men forget everything
Women remember everything
A girl can wait for the right man to come along
But it doesn’t stop her from having fun
With all the wrong ones in the mean time
The real reason why it’s so difficult to find men
Who are sensitive, caring and good looking
Is because they all have boyfriends already
A successful man is one who makes more money
Than his wife can spend
A successful women is one who can find such a man
Man, women, boy, women, girl, girl, man, boy
Women, man, women, girl, boy, boy, man, man
Women driver really means someone who doesn’t speed
Tailgates, swear, make obscene gestures
And has a better driving record than men have
It’s a guy thing really means it’s irrational
Illogical, stupid and extremely low
Oh, don’t fuss I just cut myself it’s no big deal
Really means, I’m about to die but before I die
I want you to remember me as a strong proud man
Who never cries
Man, women, boy, women, girl, girl, man, boy
Women, man, women, girl, boy, boy, man, man
If you want to learn more about women
Watch ‘Sex in the city’
If you want to learn more about men
Take a good look at Homer Simpson
The difference between light and hard
Is that men can sleep all night with the lights on

Man Woman (Yin & Yang)

Man, women, boy, women, girl, girl, man, boy
Women, man, women, girl, boy, boy, man, man
Women, girl, boy, boy, man, women, girl, man
Girl, boy, girl, girl, boy, man, women, boy
Women, without her man is nothing
Women without her, man is nothing
Women have their faults, men have only two
Everything they say and everything they do
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared
For marriage they’ve experienced pain
And ‘ve bought jewelry
Women have two weapons, cosmetics and tears
I’m a perfect house keeper
Every time I leave a man I keep his house
No women has ever hated a man
Enough to give him back his diamonds
Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
They don’t have time
Man, women, boy, women, girl, girl, man, boy
Women, man, women, girl, boy, boy, man, man
Men forget everything
Women remember everything
A girl can wait for the right man to come along
But it doesn’t stop her from having fun
With all the wrong ones in the mean time
The real reason why it’s so difficult to find men
Who are sensitive, caring and good looking
Is because they all have boyfriends already
A successful man is one who makes more money
Than his wife can spend
A successful women is one who can find such a man
Man, women, boy, women, girl, girl, man, boy
Women, man, women, girl, boy, boy, man, man
Women driver really means someone who doesn’t speed
Tailgates, swear, make obscene gestures
And has a better driving record than men have
It’s a guy thing really means it’s irrational
Illogical, stupid and extremely low
Oh, don’t fuss I just cut myself it’s no big deal
Really means, I’m about to die but before I die
I want you to remember me as a strong proud man
Who never cries
Man, women, boy, women, girl, girl, man, boy
Women, man, women, girl, boy, boy, man, man
If you want to learn more about women
Watch ‘Sex in the city’
If you want to learn more about men
Take a good look at Homer Simpson
The difference between light and hard
Is that men can sleep all night with the lights on

It’s All About Love

It’s all about love
No matter what race they are
Be together – love everybody
Who ever loves you – love ‘em back
You know…love is like a big pothole – you can look at it but don’t fall in it
L O V E – well, we been married almost 50 years
You have to try real hard and work at it – and look away
Love…it hurts and love is the truth
Love never lies…love is not jealous…and love is beautiful (hi hi hi)
Being faithful to the one you love and being true to the one you love
Being nice to everybody…and…you know…and they do the same thing to you…be nice to you
Be open to love – don’t get blinded by love
Love is my Harley Davidson – American Made – nothing like it in the world
(Ba ba bam – ba ba bam)
I’m first in everything – if I can’t love myself I can’t love you
Love the flowers, love the keys – love everything
When you open your eyes in the morning then say “It’s a love for me – I’m happy”
Don’t settle – no matter how old you are
If you’re a girl and you’re 30 years old and your biological clock is ticking ‘cause you feel like you have to have a child – unless you find a person….don’t settle. Keep looking – even if you don’t find that person until you’re 40 or 45 – keep looking. Because once you do and you really find your soul mate it’s a love like no other
Follow your heart – that’s it (hehe)
Don’t go after the beauties – that’s only skin deep
There is a very thin line between…you know…being open to love and just letting someone taking advantage of you
Keep a little guard in you heart and it works out pretty good. You can’t be evil – you got to have good in your heart. As soon as I find me a girl – I show her what love is (hehe hehe)
Go with the flow
Never loose respect
Don’t get your heart broken
Respect each other – always
Off course we need love
My relationships are always like a rollercoaster – up and down
Go after the internal
If you fight – go into another room, away, relax, count to 10 (let it come naturally), work it out
Be careful with it – be very careful. Enjoy it at the same time…you know…don’t be to worry
I think it’s all about yourself. Love yourself – then it kind of goes out from that direction
I think a lot of people try to find things and people and courses – but it’s all searching for that within themselves. You got to hit the base first – or it’s all some kind of hollow
The best thing to do is to talk about it. Whatever it is just talk – even if it risks the other person getting angry or whatever. You don’t go to bed angry at each other.
If you talk it through – it’s through – you talk it through – I mean ALL the way through. At the end of it you’re back in love again. It’s the cure – it’s the fix
There is a recipe to love – communicate… communicate… communicate
Love IS giving AND forgiving and that’s the way it should be. Everyone should love each other. Because there should be no hate in the world – period. If everybody loved each other there would be no problems in the world today. It would all be peace – I believe in PEACE
Yo, love yourself above all else – cause you may grab your feelings of somebody else – love yourself more than anybody else
Love is the meaning of life – do one cool thing to someone else – each day
Take it – whenever you gonna have love, you gonna have pain – just except it – it’s the greatest thing that there is

The Manual (Chapter 4)

The warmest welcome to everybody reading the manual
The manual gives you the basic information
About the ingredients and the six step easy to follow guide
Please pay attention to the useful advice and the helpful tips
As we lead you through
Ingredients
You need, a small piece of thick paper as a mouth piece
The most common is to use the top side
From a hard top cigarette pack
You need large size rolling papers
One of the best brands on the market is smoking
Because their rolling papers are very thin
And are the perfect size
You need tobacco
The finest tobacco is hand rolling tobacco
But a second possibility
Is to use the tobacco from a normal cigarette
You need, pot, grass, ganja, marijuana
It has various names
But they all refer to the following three main types
Weed, weed is the bud from hemp plants
The effect is usually uplifting and mellow
Hash, hash is the pressed pollens and resins of the marijuana plant
You will experience a more relaxed feeling
And a stronger effect than weed
Skunk, skunk is the artificially grown hemp plant
And is usually the strongest of the three
There are different ways to make a joint
But we have produced this six step easy to follow guide
One, if you have hash you need to heat it and crumble it
If it’s weed, you need to remove the seeds first
And then crumble it as well
Two, roll the mouth piece
Fold the end of the paper three times
And then roll it in to a cylindrical form
Three, take the rolling paper
And hold it with the gum side on top away from you
Four, now mix the weed, hash or skunk with the tobacco
On the rolling paper
A good mix makes the joint burn nice and smooth
But be careful
Half a gram is enough to get four people stoned
If you’re beginners
Five, begin rolling
Place the mouth piece in one end of the rolling paper
Then start rolling from the middle going outwards
Let your thumbs do the walking
And try to give support and pressure with your fore fingers
Six, wet the glue and seal the joint
Now you have a joint
It’s up to you what you want to do with it

We Only Read The Headlines

You can cut to the chase
And you know it’s okay
‘Coz we only read the headlines
We only read the headlines
Baby, get to the point
And quit the foreplay
We only read the headlines
We only read the headlines anyways
54 percent of bank robberies take place on a Friday
Women blink nearly twice as much as men
Elvis never ever gave an Encore
The number of wars fought between countries
That both have at least one McDonald’s is zero
Every 5 minutes, an area of rainforest
The size of a football field is eliminated
Women who read romance novels
Have sex twice as often as those who don’t
Did you know a can of Diet Coke will float in water
While a can of regular Coke will sink
The Muppet Show was banned from TV in Saudi Arabia
Because one of its stars was a pig
Males on average think about sex every 7 seconds
More than 50 percent of the people in the world
Have never made or received a telephone call
Syphilis has risen 500 percent in the last six years in London
Why is it that everybody seems to get older
Except for Cliff Richard?
You can cut to the chase
And you know it’s okay
‘Coz we only read the headlines
We only read the headlines
Baby, get to the point
And quit the foreplay
We only read the headlines
We only read the headlines anyways
1 out of 10 girls under 20 is carrying Chlamydia
According to several sources, Dr. Harvey Kellogg
Actually tried to make a cure for masturbation
When he made cornflakes
Women are 30 percent more sexually active during a full moon
Indonesia is the country with the highest scout membership
In every single episode of Seinfeld
There’s a Superman in at least one scene somewhere
If you weighed all the animals in the world
Hens would be 10 percent of the total weight
In Minnesota, there’s a law
Against men having sex with living fish
Jimmy Carter can read 2000 words per minute
Humans and dolphins are the only species
That have sex for pleasure
Danny Devito is taller than Dolly Parton
You can cut to the chase
And you know it’s okay
We only read the headlines
We only read the headlines
In the papers, on the news
Heaven heard, there’s no excuse
Informations everywhere
All you need to know is right here
It’s possible to attend your own funeral
Because the human brain continues to send out
Electrical wave signals for up to 37 hours following death
We only read the headlines
We only read the headlines
We only read the headlines
We only read the headlines
You can cut to the chase
And you know it’s okay
‘Coz we only read the headlines
We only read the headlines
Baby, get to the point
And quit the foreplay
We only read the headlines
We only read the headlines anyways

Desiderata

You are a child of the universe
No less than the trees and the stars
And you have a right to be here
And whether or not it is clear to you
No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should
Therefore, be at peace with God
Whatever you conceive Him to be
And whatever your labors and aspirations
In the noisy confusion of life
Keep peace with your soul
I try to be, I strive to be
Oh, I wish to be happy
I try to be, I strive to be
Oh, I wish to be happy
Oh, Desiderata
Oh, Desiderata
As far as possible, without surrender
Be on good terms with all persons
Speak your truth quietly and clearly
And listen to the dull and the ignorant
They too have their story
Avoid loud and aggressive persons
They are vexatious to the spirit
If you compare yourselves with others
You may become vain or bitter
For always there will be greater
And lesser persons than yourself
Enjoy your achievements
As well as your plans
Keep interested in your career however humble
It is a real possession
In the changing fortunes of time
I try to be, I strive to be
Oh, I wish to be happy
I try to be, I strive to be
Oh, I wish to be happy
Oh, Desiderata
Oh, Desiderata
Be yourself, especially do not feign affection
Neither be cynical about love
Take kindly the council of the years
Gracefully surrendering the things of youth
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune
But do not distress yourself with imaginings
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle to yourself
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams
It is still a beautiful world
I try to be, I strive to be
Oh, I wish to be happy
I try to be, I strive to be
Oh, I wish to be happy
I try to be, I strive to be
Oh, I wish to be happy
Oh, Desiderata
Oh, Desiderata
Oh, Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste
And remember what peace there maybe in silence

Man Woman (Yin & Yang)

Man, women, boy, women, girl, girl, man, boy
Women, man, women, girl, boy, boy, man, man
Women, girl, boy, boy, man, women, girl, man
Girl, boy, girl, girl, boy, man, women, boy
Women, without her man is nothing
Women without her, man is nothing
Women have their faults, men have only two
Everything they say and everything they do
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared
For marriage they’ve experienced pain
And ‘ve bought jewelry
Women have two weapons, cosmetics and tears
I’m a perfect house keeper
Every time I leave a man I keep his house
No women has ever hated a man
Enough to give him back his diamonds
Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
They don’t have time
Man, women, boy, women, girl, girl, man, boy
Women, man, women, girl, boy, boy, man, man
Men forget everything
Women remember everything
A girl can wait for the right man to come along
But it doesn’t stop her from having fun
With all the wrong ones in the mean time
The real reason why it’s so difficult to find men
Who are sensitive, caring and good looking
Is because they all have boyfriends already
A successful man is one who makes more money
Than his wife can spend
A successful women is one who can find such a man
Man, women, boy, women, girl, girl, man, boy
Women, man, women, girl, boy, boy, man, man
Women driver really means someone who doesn’t speed
Tailgates, swear, make obscene gestures
And has a better driving record than men have
It’s a guy thing really means it’s irrational
Illogical, stupid and extremely low
Oh, don’t fuss I just cut myself it’s no big deal
Really means, I’m about to die but before I die
I want you to remember me as a strong proud man
Who never cries
Man, women, boy, women, girl, girl, man, boy
Women, man, women, girl, boy, boy, man, man
If you want to learn more about women
Watch ‘Sex in the city’
If you want to learn more about men
Take a good look at Homer Simpson
The difference between light and hard
Is that men can sleep all night with the lights on

Underwear Goes Inside The Pants

Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It’s a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what’s not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That’s not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We’re dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
but we’re putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?
You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can’t watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: “Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?”
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don’t even know what the commercial is:
people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I’m like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.
The schools now: It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids’ self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What’s going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don’t just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?
Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don’t you think?
They’re not masterminds.
“OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?”
“Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can’t I just:”
“Who’s the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?”
Americans, let’s face it: We’ve been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we’re in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio. Like we’ll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
“How’d you get through it grandpa?”
“Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.”
Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I’ll sit at a drive thru.
I’ll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There’s room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It’s only three more cents.
Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there’d be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
“You’ll see. I’m going to take of the world of computers! I’ll show them.”
We’re in one of the richest countries in the world,
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that’s what I’m going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they’re just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He’s homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don’t you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants. I’m guessing his resume isn’t all up to date.
I’m predicting some problems during the interview process.
I’m pretty sure even McDonalds has a “underwear goes inside the pants” policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I’m sure it is on the books.

This Is The Truth

One life, one shard, one move, one god
This is the truth, yeah
Word up for the lazy boy, word up for the lazy boy
Is this the truth
You don’t win silver, you lose gold
Stop earning the right to be, you won the day you were born
If you don’t know what direction you should take
You don’t know where you are
Success is a matter of luck, ask any failure
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you
We are born naked, wet, and hungry, then things get worse
Your success is measured by your ability to finish things
Skepticism is the beggining of faith
Forgive your enemies but never forget their names
There is no such thing as right or wrong, only consequences
One life, one shard, one move, one god
This is the truth, yeah
Word up for the lazy boy, word up for the lazy boy
Is this the truth, yeah
All men are born equal but quite a few of them eventually get over it
We are the people our parents warned us about
Somtimes I think the surest sign of intelligent life exists
Elsewhere in the universe, is that none of them have tried to contact us
Be nice to nerds, chances are you’ll end up working for one
Do not get mad with others because
They know more than you, it is not their fault
If you do not change your beliefs, your life will always be like this
Fantasy is as important as wisdom
Do not try to satisfy everyone
The biggest lie you can tell yourself is
“When I get what I want I will be happy”
One life, one shard, one move, one god
This is the truth, yeah
Word up for the lazy boy, word up for the lazy boy
Is this the truth, yeah
Don’t take life too seriously you won’t get out alive
It may be that your sole purpose in life is
Simply to serve as a warning to others
Life is shorter than expected
What you are willing to accept
Is exactly what you will get
You can’t control, without being controlled
Creativity is great but plagiarism is faster
You are the very reason for everything that happens to you
Someone said to Voltaire, “Life is hard”
Voltaire replied, “Compared to what?”
One life, one shard, one move, one god
This the truth, yeah
Word up for the lazy boy, word up for the lazy boy
Is this the truth, yeah
One life, one god
Word up for the lazy boy, yeah
This is the truth

Inhale Positivity

Inhale positivity, exhale negativity
Inhale positivity, exhale negativity
Inhale positivity, exhale negativity
Inhale positivity, exhale negativity
Inhale positivity, exhale negativity
Inhale positivity, exhale negativity
Enjoy the little things in life
Like the smell of a flower
The sound of a bird or the shape of a cloud
Do something different today, smile to a stranger on the street
Take a different way home or go by a CD
With music that you wouldn’t have normally bought
Try not to be to hasty
In your judgment of other people
And take life less seriously
What you give will always come back double
Some people spend their whole life waiting for the storm
And never enjoy the sunshine
Inhale positivity, exhale negativity
Inhale positivity, exhale negativity
Take a deep breath
By taking five deep breaths everyday
It will help remove the build up of toxins in the body
It also lowers your cholesterol in the blood
And strengthens your mind
As you breathe out think only positive thoughts
Like what a great day this is going to be
Surround yourself with successful people
Don’t feel threatened by them
Challenge yourself and learn from them
Because sccess has a mysterious way of attracting more success
Like negativity attracts more negativity
Inhale positivity, exhale negativity
Inhale positivity, exhale negativity
Inhale, exhale, negativity
Inhale, exhale, negativity
Inhale new life and positivity
And exhale pain, regrets and negativity
Inhale

Facts Of Life

These are the facts
(Of Lazyboy)
So help me God
This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
The bare facts of the life we live
This is who we are, this is what we do, ooo, oh
Did you know, that 1 out of 4 Americans has appeared on TV?
Did you know 61 percent of all hits on the Internet are on sex sites?
Every day 21 new born babies will be given to the wrong parents
The average person swallows 8 spiders in a year
Cannabis is the most widely abused drug in the world
The average person laughs 13 times a day, Elvis was originally blond
The average age of first intercourse is 15 point 3 years old
The average erect penis is 5 point 2 inches long
And 4 point 2 inches circumcised
Eskimos use refrigerators to keep food from freezing
41 percent of all people take people with curly hair less seriously
20 percent of all females have had at least 1 homosexual experience
Did you know that there is no such thing as an anti-wrinkle cream?
This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
The bare facts of the life we live
This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
These are the facts of the life that we live
This is who we are, bare facts of the life we live
This is who we are, this is what we do
This is who we are, are, are
22 percent of the time a pizza will arrive faster
Than an ambulance in Great Britain
96 percent of all women have at one time in their life faked an orgasm
3 people die every year, testing if a 9 volts battery works on their tongue
The ‘Guinness Book Of Records’ holds the record
For being the most stolen book in public libraries
Butterflies taste with their feet, 5 percent of the population is gay
The worlds best known word is ‘okay’
The second most well-known word is ‘Coca-Cola’
The giraffe can clean its ears with its tongue
Charles Chaplin once won 3rd prize
In a ‘Charles Chaplin look-a-like contest’
In 1995 a Japanese trawler sank
Because a Russian cargo plane dropped
A living cow from 30,000 feet
Only one book has been printed in more copies
Than the Bible, the IKEA catalog
This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
The bare facts of the life we live
This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
These are the facts of the life that we live
This is who we are, the facts of the life we live
This is who we are, this is what we do, this is who we are
1 cigarette takes away five minutes of a person’s life
In 1950 we were 3 billion people on the earth
Today we are 6 billion people
(6 billion people, 6 billion)
(Time is ticking, ticking, yeah)
Donald Duck was banned in Finland
Because he doesn’t wear pants
74 percent of all nudist females are nudists
Because their husbands are nudists
More people die from a champagne cork popping
Than from poison spiders, 21 percent of all traffic accidents
Happen because the driver falls asleep, did you know
That originally a Danish guy invented the burglar alarm?
Unfortunately it got stolen
This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
This is who we are, this is what we do
This is what it is, yeah, yeah, yeah
This is who we are bare facts of the life we live
This is who we are, this is what we do
This is who we are, this is what we do
So help me God

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